I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
