Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
