Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
