Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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