You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
