No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
