Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
