I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
