i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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