His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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