I got chris browned last night
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
