Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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