Is it because I queefed?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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