I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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