Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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