Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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