Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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