moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
