I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize