Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
