What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.