i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses