Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something