hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
