he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
