i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
