1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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