Don't make out with my wife yet
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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