the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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