you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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