I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize