yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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