All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
