Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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