I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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