Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize