bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
