I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
