My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
