just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
