she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
