Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
