wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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