HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
