I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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