I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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