If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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