Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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