lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
