I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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