I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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