just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
