Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just found puke in my bra..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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