you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
