i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize