Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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