Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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