So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
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I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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