If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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