Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
