Moan for me like Helen Keller
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just sucked dick on a ferry
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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