If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
