went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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