who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This is the prime rib incident all over again
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
